As I near the anniversary of my suicide attempt I feel a need to reflect on the past year; where have i come from and where am I going. What a year it has been. I can say without a doubt that this year has brought the most psychological turmoil but all that turmoil, for the first time, also brought the beginnings of real understanding and subsequently, producing real, tangible, change in thought, behaviour and most importantly, self-understanding.
It's like my psychically screaming for help all these decades into the cosmos has finally been heard... and answered.
The diagnosis being the most important... But it was the end of a crazy (hehe) year of many ups and downs and in all honesty ending in deep shock that I actually made it.
It's certainly not the end of anything but the very beginning of much more work and transition as I start to figure myself out without the veil of deep depression and with new tools of understanding. Already I see this manifest in my relationships with my son; Xander, my partner; Eric and in some family member relationships. I am hoping in time I can expand this and see it in my friendships and other family relationships as well.
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