the good and bad of meds

Sometimes I just want to cry and can't and sometimes emotions are so close to the surface I can't deal.
Although there is so much that my psychiatrist, doctor, and sometimes, me feel there needs to be more meds to augment the ones i'm on now but sometimes it is so scary how much effect they have on me already.

I need to be able to be mad when I need to be just as much as I need to be able to be happy when I need to be.

It's scary!!! to think I can't be able to stand up for myself when I need to be.

That being said, I'm learning, slowly, how i react in moments of anxiety and fear is one of animosity and basic rudeness as a way of projecting and counter-attacking the judgment conga line going on in my head.