Ok this isn't friday but I am feeling hopeful :)

1. I admit i am a little caving here to a major bitch who deserves everything bad that could possibly ever come to her. I put up the ads for the apartment again. I have an appt to show said apt on saturday to a single mom who is separating from her husband and appears to be sufficiently desperate enough maybe to overlook a few small minor negative details in order to get a safe neighborhood for her children close to work.

I spoke to project genesis today. They were very nice despite giving me crappy news. Nothing really can be done. Although yes she can not refuse people just for having no credit (only for bad credit) I would have had to contact the rental board before a month is up to force them to transfer the lease. And why the rental board themselves did not say that when i called them is beyond me???

Although it was very upsetting and I may have not been the nicest to the person telling me this news (i mean what kind of logic says I can be screwed over and unless i still have a person to hand them they win) I was relatively calm. I had tears in my eyes but my ability to function was not compromised. I did not roll into myself. I came home, I reinstated the ads, I wrote another email to a coworker for advice on the subject and I did it all without retreating into myself or getting angry. Pretty miraculous!

I suddenly was a little less foggy; the anger of being screwed kinda blocked my ability to see well yes i am being screwed but how to best get rid of the problem doesn't always coincide with how to best punish the person screwing me over.

Today I had my meeting with the group leaders of a new therapeutic support group that was recommended to me. Very nerve wracking; new people, let's talk about how f-ed up I am, and let me self-assess myself and try and remember my life-story when I am lucky if i can remember last week. But I survived: woohoo one! I will get back my previous counselor who i miss terribly: Woohoo two and three!!!

I think it is in feeling like something is coming to help me deal with stuff (support) even with the yikes factor kinda gave me a nice cushion. All of which of course was entirely sub-conscious.

And then after getting a call to show the apt literally minutes after putting it up, I got a call from mcgill's psych dept saying xander's number is up on the waiting list for his assessment. You can get phd students to do psycho-educational complete assessments for $300 (which btw is much less than private). Anyway she was very nice and very validating. It is a complete assessment. Will not only finally assess his psychological stuff (with a report with recommendations) but also assess how he learns best and his educational aptitude :)

can't wait!