my first casuality of my "getting better" has been my friendship with my oldest friend. Which is ironic cause my road out has been so wonderful for my relationship with eric. We are closer than we have ever been and have made remarkable progress in the past few months.
I have learned friends and family are fundamentally important to me. I say this, not to guilt anybody who might be reading this but, to honestly say something I have discovered. My major setbacks have all been when, real or imagined, I have felt a loss of support of one or more of the people in those catagories. The closer they are to me the harder it is to take.
I am going to try and throw myself into cleaning and cross stitch projects today. hopefully that will help keep me present yet not too present as to sit around all day imagining someone else in my bridesmaid dress (that I'd already had visions of adapting for my wedding). I think i'll keep the shoes.
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