Yesterday I had driven my brother, sister-in law and my cutie nephew to my grandparents so new family could see the new baby. I happened to be around James' place when he called and the family members were leaving soon... I was happy to do so. I then went back and picked xander (DS) up at school and brought him to his daddy's place. By the time I got back to granny's it was getting later and I still had to eat before going downtown to hear a talk that I really wished to attend. Anyway it was mutually decided that they would take the bus to the mall (where they were going next). When I was leaving granddad said to me "You brought them then you should take them". EPIPHANY
Setting limits is a huge problem for me. I want to help, please and generally do for others. Not in and of itself a bad thing but it has taken it's toll.
In that moment I realize where (at least part of) this issue comes from. My granddad did everything for us. If we needed a lift anywhere he jumped up to do so (and anything else). He would wait and then bring us back even when this was entirely inconvenient.
I realized part of my guilt stems from being shown this is what we do; our needs or even schedule doesn't matter.
It has taken alot of work (and yes still quite a bit of guilt) but I can now at least some of the time at least set partial limits. Like needing to be somewhere at a certain time. Getting to my thing matters. EPIPHANY
I also should thank certain people (you know who you are) who are starting to notice my need to help and validate my saying no or not ask in the first place!
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