Ok it actually happened I actually am starting to take antidepressant medication, otherwise known in my world as drugs, on a regular basis. It is called Effexor in case anybody cares. Now beyond the rationale that medication is there to help and after everything that has happened that is a pretty rational concept to believe in, it is still very difficult to reconcile my fears / hatred and subsequent self-hatred in using any kind of drug. The same feelings that have made sure that I extremely rarely drink (and never to excess), I only take cold or pain medication only as a last resort (which is saying a lot considering how much pain I am in with my endometriosis).
Day 1: 1/4 of a dose ~18.75mg. My dr has been really great and understood my physical and psychological need to take it slow. I felt it but it isn't bad. All symptoms that could be psychosomatic especially mixed with stress and my getting over a flu to acheive the same result so far. Slight headache, some dizzyness, a weird taste in my mouth, and a feeling of alertness (although still tired which is good as that means it's not changing my normal feelings, not changing me)
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