So how do others do it?

So eric in his efforts to try and fix our issues (or in this case his issues and how they effect us) asked what I would need of him to gets us to a better place. First of all I am cautiously taking this as a good sign as to his commitment to work on us effectively (beyond any window dressing that will do more to manipulate than will actually effectuate change). I say very cautiously as it has been difficult to trust (basically anyone) eric due to the bad combination of our long history of his manipulation and my inability to recognize the reality of my own ability (or lack thereof), and both of our lacking in the successful, quality relationship role model department.

I of course have no idea as usual. I just spend a great deal of time in therapy discussing how much my lacking in trust is making me a nervous wreck and slows what little progress i can make down even further. All i said was that he should work on caring about his family more than he cares about his routine (which encompasses all of his lit ).

In the course of this discussion he mentioned how he doesn't know how others do this. That is the navigating in a relationship. And how not talked about (and probably not even really thought about) this is. After all why would you need to if it just works?

Although I should probably be more specific but it's late and it's been really hard as of late to put myself out there at all in this medium... so i am going to leave it at that and ask for anyone's input in terms of how they navigate in their relationships: making decisions, their routine, showing care and concern, etc. etc. ....

thank you!!